I slept wishing you were with me.
hoping I jumped instead of running away.
but it’s too late.
I’m here.
you’re there.
with a great big ocean between us.
maybe someday I’ll learn to forget.
but for now let me remember
the time when i slept with your arms wrapped around me,
your thigh warming mine
your breath tickling my nape
and your soft snores lulling me to sleep.
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Days ago I was in agony. A little lost and in pain, I failed to see the consequences of my actions. Blaming it on the fates and my genes, I withdrew from the rest of the world to lick my wounds in private.
Today though I’m feeling better…happy and giddy. Things are finally looking up. The decision to move out of Davao City is keeping me busy and most of all…excited. I feel like dancing (not that I know how) and tapping and jumping… and eating! Finally!
The only thing I’m worried about is working in a BPO company. Then again, I tell myself, it’s just a means to an end girl, as soon as you get your feet back on the ground you’re going to go right on pursuing the career you want. YEah, that’s right folks. I will be doing the ‘hello, good morning this i _______, how may I help you?’ line after all. Am I sure, as in really sure? Is it final? Heck no. The past few months have taught me that nothing, and I mean nothing is ever final.
Working for an outsourcing company has its perks, or so they say. And if ever I do run out of money I can always check out payday loan stores that offer quick cash loans, right?
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Just a little collage I’d like to share on this blog. 
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| From Collages |
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Moi with Ara and Neri in Baguio
I’ve been toying around with the idea of getting a job in Baguio City. It’s an unusual choice, I know, but let’s just say I’m ready to leave home and test my own wings.
But why Baguio City and not Manila, Cebu, or Makati? Read More
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I am a jumble of thoughts, blurbs, or whatever you might want to call those ‘its’. When frustrated, I tend to hold conversations in my head, usually with the person (or in this case the guy) who’s troubling me. Here’s a snippet of the conversation I just had with myself, the guy, and my brain. Confusing? I know.
He says he likes me.
I say I don’t have the time.
There is time. We see each other a lot.
This isn’t going to work.
It will. It is.
Oh yeah? I’m a big mess.Not now.
I can fix it. For free.
Ha. That is why this won’t work.
It’ll be okay. This way may private sessions ka.
ANOoo? This is why I’m not entertaining calls from pt interns. So. damn. awkward.
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When Sam, the youngest in our brood of five, surprised us by giving birth we didn’t mind much. We were used to puppies after all. Tammy, the oldest, gave birth to Sam and the other three. BUt there was something different with Sam’s brood. They were so cute, cuddly, and playful.
Especially Julian. He was my favorite of the four. I played almost everyday with him, gave him his first bath, took his first photo…and spoiled him to death at home. I remember he would fall asleep at around 9 in the evening then wake us up with his incessant barking at 2 in the morning. I would wake up then, open the door and he would run right through and follow me to our room. My parents scolded me for giving in to the puppy’s demands, but I liked spoiling him, never mind if I have to stay up late.
If only we didn’t have 5 dogs already… I’m sure we could have persuaded our parents to allow the puppy to stay. We can’t afford six dogs, five is already too much. My only consolation is that Julian now resides in our grandparent’s home in Calinan, where I could visit him on weekends. Still, I miss Julian’s antics…sooo bad.
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highschool. sigh. that was sooo a long time ago. hehe. i can still remember how angry i was at the world back then. so different from what i am now. after hs, i moved on and busied myself with new pursuits, determined not to look back. i was never good at maintaining long distance relationships, so there. i kinda lost touch with everybody. reading aya’s thoughts about senior year made me realize though that without senior year’s ups and downs i wouldnt be the tiara that i am now.
so here’s a repost of aya’s senior year blog entry. hope some of my aromaz friends get to read this too. =)
Fill this out about your SENIOR year
of high school! The longer ago it was,
the more fun the answers will be.
1. Who was/were your best friends?
–well. aya, i guess and jayson, lindl and dean…rhea and joel. i remember being close to gen, tina, beth and rex too.but something happened that made me stay away from them. hehe. but we’re friends now.
2. what sport/s did u play?
–will camping count? =)
3. What kind of car did you drive?
– nyah. not uso here. hehe. im not a rich kid so it was either the jeepney or the tricycle. now its the habalhabal. wahehe.
4. It’s Friday night, where were you?
home, watching tv and eating loads of chicheria. or in school for a camp or something. laag… with friends from school or the downtown peeps.
5. Were you much of a party animal?
–hmm…a little. hehe. i remember being scolded a million times for going home late.
6. Were you considered a flirt/player?
–no. on the contrary i was so afraid of romance. 
7. Ever skip school?
– haha! yes. some of my best memories happened while skipping school.;)
8. Were you a nerd?
– nope! and im glad i wasnt! being a nerd is sooo boring. i dont study much, to the consternation of my parents. but i dont regret it one bit. =)
9. What’s your funniest memory in skul?
– na mao. too many to mention. wahaha. the aromaz was a crazy bunch. i can still remember jabes having a swordfight with our chemistry teacher using a meter stick. hehehe.
10. Did you get suspended/expelled?
– almost. haha. but there were lots of times when my friends and i were called to the g. councilor’s office because of being noisy and for saying mean things to a teacher. and there was one time when a certain maam limusnero called me to her office to talk about my friendship with maam LT. she wanted me to end that friendship…but i told her to mind her own business. haha.
11. Can you sing the fight song?
– hmm… we had a fight song?? i dont remember. i can still sing the puto sa lubi song though.
12. Who were your favorite teachers?
– maam udarbe??wahaha.may she rest in peace. =) maam decolongon, of course.
13. Favorite class?
– lunch break.
14. Your school’s full name?
– Davao City National High School
15. School mascot?
– andrew villegas!wakeke.
16. Did you go to Prom?
–we didnt have a prom. but even if we did i doubt if i would have joined. i hated wearing gowns and heels, i still do.
17. If you could go back and do it
over, would you?
– yep. =)
18. What do you remember most about
graduation?
– uhm…boycott?. hehe. i was waging a war back then with my parents. boycotting my own graduation was my own way of showing them that they couldnt force me to do things i dont like. =)
19. Favorite memory of your Senior
Year?
ditching classes, getting drunk and science camp… the one where some of the boys (mostly our friends) were caught scaling the walls for pandesal and coke.
20. Did you have a job when you were
on your senior year?
– uhm… i was president of the gsp club. does that count?
21. Where did you go most often for
lunch?
– galaxy. with aya, jayson. lindl and the rest of the gang.
22. What did you do after graduation?
– refer to no. 18.
23. When did u graduate?
– March 2004
24. Who was your Senior prom date?
– none.
25. Are you going to your ten year
reunion?
– definitely! hehe.
26. Who was your homeroom teacher?
– maam botero.may she rest in peace too.
27. Who will repost this after you?
– highschool friends, i guess.
28. Who was President of your class?
– aya. she was a crazy president. hehe.
29. What were you voted as in your
senior year?
– the sewing machine girl???
30. What were your accomplishments in
your senior year?
– i learned to let go of things not meant for me. (char!)
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