Dabawenyang Iska

i am annoyed. as in super duper annoyed. i had a good day today…or so I thought. i was having fun with someone when i got an sms from a brod. there’s talk going around saying a brod and i are having a relationship. ok, im a little used to the chismis. what i couldn’t take however was that this someone, who i thought trusted me went absolutely nuts. yeah. so like us. one minute we’re okay and the next we’re fighting over something as irrelevant as a chismis.

and now i have to contend with a very nasty chismis. perpetrated none the less by people i thought i trusted. well. i should have known. this guy however is different though. i’ve always known he’d be like this and i’ve avoided rocking the boat until now…when i was unfortunate enough to leave my phone with him while i was talking with the brod to get a hold of the whole issue.

we were supposed to have coffee but i cut it off and opted to go home. i needed to write it all down before i burst. I had to escape his rantings too. for a quiet guy he sure can rant louder than me.

on a brighter side im thinking maybe this issue is trying to tell me something. maybe it’s trying to tell me that i should move on, and leave this guy since he believes easily and creates unnecessary havoc over some things. or…it could be telling me its about time to move on and live my own life apart from up, ultimately from the confrat also, or at least until the issue dies a natural death.

what the heck, one more semester and im off to go. i dont need this. not now when im swamped with so much work i hardly have time for anything else.

i dont want to give up both. but from what i see they could not coexist peacefully, especially not after this. which is which? hahay. i have this feeling im going to let go of both and pursue other things instead. i dont need the headaches. do you hear that people?

*and now i find i cant even post this on my other blog because for some insane reason the server is down. shit. guess the multiply and dbiska will have to take the brunt. this is really not a good day.

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4 months after leaving the urban world abruptly k finally found the time to text me and some of her friends here in up mindanao. i remember still the last time we talked. it was cold and strained. so unlike the easy camaraderie we used to exude that made people in school call us supertwins, the inseparable pair, or sisters. i didnt mind. we were quite inseparable. though different as night and day we got along really well. k loves the limelight, the people and is too open, while i am the exact opposite. if i had the choice i would rather not surround myself with boisterous crowds or have meetings with administrators especially if they’re from up. you want to laugh, talk about politics and its intricacies: she’s the one. i on the other hand prefers to be alone, am very moody, and tries to avoid the limelight like hell.

but we got along quite well. yes, we argued like shrews at times, usually about my insensitivity and refusal to work with the downtown left peeps and her stubbornness. she wore me out with her incessant chatting of everything around her– the dogs, her lovelife, her dreams and ambitions…her frustrations (including me, hehe.) i wore her out with my refusal to talk or get involved with anything that involves immense sensitivity and emotions.

we both loved scouring the city for pirated dvd, especially sitcoms and watch them till our eyes are sore. we shared practically everything–food, thoughts, plans, and even flunking in school. she had plans of dominating the office, as usc chair and me as eic of the paper. but we never really got to share the office. it would have been fun to work under one roof knowing that the other was only a room away.

4 months ago she left abruptly. i knew she had changed over the summer. just as i did. but t was a difficult change. she steered her life towards ’saving the world’ while i on the other hand was intent on ’saving my own ass’. if you know what i mean. sad to say, things were a little strained before she left as i found myself enjoying the company of my brods and sisses.

i admit to harboring ill feelings. she left abruptly, leaving her responsibility as the usc chair behind. who wouldnt? i mean, look at them now, they cant even stay afloat. but since i know her it didnt really surprise me. not really. she was impulsive and im afraid she kinda had it in her.

i thought i wouldnt see or hear from her again. and yet just a few days ago i got a message from her, asking how i was. for a moment it was like the old days again, the old me and her texting each other. then she asked if i could spare a few days to visit her and i realized we were in very different worlds. i could not…and would not visit her. aside from a busy schedule, i could just not take the risk. not even for an old friend. besides, the people around me might ask and i wouldnt be able to answer or escape them.

the D has already told me not to, not if i dont want trouble with my parents. sorry k. i guess this is the end of the supertwin series. too bad.

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top 2 things found in your wallet as
always:
1. id
2. my luck one dollar bill

top 2 things to do when im sad:
1. sulk
2. get drunk

top 2 songs you can
listen to again and again
1. im yours by jason mraz
2. head over feet by alanis m.

top 2 reasons to watch television:
1. i find channel surfing therapeutic
2. i love cartoons.

top 2 places Id want to visit 10
yrs. from now
1. australia
2. paris

top 2 current obsessions:
1. avatar, the last air bender series
2. popong landero Read More

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Please pass this statement

What press Freedom?

Around three months ago, the National Press Club commissioned us to do an 8×32 foot-mural on the history of press freedom in the Philippines. A lot of problems were encountered during the production phase mainly because of the delays in the schedule of payment on their part, as stipulated in the contract we signed. Still, through the commitment and dedication shown by the members of our group, the mural was completed in time for the unveiling scheduled on October 26. Finally, we would be able to sleep a lot more easily.
Or so we thought.
We were shocked to be informed by one of their board of directors that changes were made in the mural without our knowledge.
We, the Neo-Angono Artists Collective, would like to express our outrage, revulsion and protest against the total lack of respect of the NPC for the integrity of the commissioned artwork, as shown by the slipshod alterations they caused in several parts of the said mural, to wit:

1. The erasure of a big portion of the newspaper held by the central figure, containing the statement of the International Federation of Journalists regarding the perceived effects of the anti-terror law on press freedom, and replaced by a hideous bird-monster in a cage;

2. The alteration of the headline of the newspaper Jose Rizal is holding from “Press Freedom Fighter’s Son Abducted” to “Press Freedom Fight Is On” and the defacement of Jonas and Edith Burgos’s pictures as well as the erasure of Jonas’s name;

3. The change of the tattoo on Andres Bonifacio’s left arm from the alibata “K” to a sappy red heart pierced by an arrow;

4. The erasure of the name of the National Union of Journalists of the Philippines from the banners of the rallyists; Read More

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REBEL WITHOUT A CLUE
Truth in art
By Patricia Evangelista
Inquirer
Last updated 01:01am (Mla time) 11/11/2007

MANILA, Philippines — The issue of the press freedom mural that was
bastardized by the National Press Club is one that has been zipping
down the highways of cyberspace, flooding e-mail inboxes, swamping
newspaper columns and television reports with outbursts of
indignation. The basic facts are these: that the NPC commissioned the
Neo-Angono Artists Collective (NAAC) to produce a mural depicting the
state of Philippine Press Freedom, that the NPC later decided that it
did not depict their “apolitical” perspective of what press freedom
is; that on the artists’ refusal to change the mural, the NPC took it
upon itself to “correct” the painting using a different artist; and
that, on the day Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo unveiled the mural,
astounding changes had taken place, least of all the alibata tattoo
on Andres Bonifacio’s arm morphing into a heart pierced with an arrow. Read More

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“it is never too late to be what you might have been…”

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You struck me as someone who could be my soul mate. The first time I met you I didn’t like you at all. Snobbish of me, yes, but that’s just the way I am. I rarely talk to ‘newfound’ friends, not even to those I’ve been acquainted with for years. I am choosy; I can probably count with my fingers the people I really feel comfortable talking to. And when I don’t feel like talking, I listen, nod a few times, mumble a yes, ah, or no…and I listen more. But you saw through that didn’t you?

You were so right about the way I am and my defense mechanisms you scared the hell out of me. I was ready to run and hide, that’s what I do best. But you called my bluff and spoke frankly. And for that, I admired your guts. Other people have tried chipping through my shell, to no avail. Once I shut somebody off, they can’t get through, not until I let them anyway. It’s the way i’ve always been. Its one reason why I hardly lament over people who leave, I’d feel sad for a day or two, then i’m back to my normal psyche.

You shook your head, unhealthy, very unhealthy, you say. So what, I replied. Does that really matter? I live for the moment; they are my friends for as long they are there. I don’t hold them back from things they want to do. Help, advice, company, whatever they need that I can do, they get it. But once they leave, they can’t expect me to pine for them and write long mushy emails; spend a lot on phone credits, etcetera, and etcetera. I don’t work that way. Read More

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for two days now i’ve been trying to write a position paper on the proposed banning of fraternities and sororities in the up system. i should have finished writing it by now, but 48 hours and 30 minutes later im here, staring blankly at the pc and two paragraphs.

writer’s block? maybe, but i never believed in that shit. im lazy, i know that, my closest friends know that. but right now, i badly want to finish the position paper but i cant seem to move on. Read More

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